In a World...

When an asteroid the size of Texas is headed for Earth, the world's bravest horse sacrificed his family, friends, and his very livelihood in the name of hope and freedom. With the world's best deep core drilling team, he was sent to nuke the rock from the inside.

Horse Apples!

On the road trip to Florida, the horse made many feeble attempts to appear more "human." Some say his saddest attempt was when he was seen bopping along to Miley Cyrus. He was obviously confused about how headphones work. Baby steps...

The Horse Solves the Gas Crisis

Drawn to the pimptastic power of the silver minivan, hot biddies looked on as the horse pumped some high octane fuel in the middle of Kentucky. Who knew he was a Muskies fan?

Motorboat!

Who says chivalry is dead? The horse clomped into the White Oak semi-formal with a point to prove and a ravenous appetite. Realizing she had packed some trail mix in her coat in case she got hungry later, the lovely fiancé had nothing but pity for the horse as he lost all restraint in a creepy display of affection.

Horse Head in a Love Seat

We all knew the horse had a more sensitive side, but not until now were his true desires for human contact captured on film. The fair maiden described his gentle caress as "soft" and "strangely human." Some say she actually said "creepy" and "alcohol-fueled," but this is all hearsay. Seriously...she knows she liked it.

A Horse Head Walks into a Piano Bar...

The crowd grew silent as Horsegang charmed them with his musical stylings. Rachmaninov's 3rd Concerto was a bold choice, but not nearly as bold as the Crazy Band accessory around his wrist.

A Horse Head Pool Party

You know the old idiom, "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink!" Well we put that to the test, and just look at the hilarious consequences....and sexy results.

Ride That Pony!

Overtaken with unadulterated attraction for the horse, Dixon had no choice but to engage in a lude display in front of the entire kitchen full of onlookers. Some say they later heard him shouting, "Faites-moi, le cheval!"

Punch Rock Groin!

Back in the hotel room, pure jealousy of the horse's hot new girlfriend projected the fist of one Matthew Barnes into the horse's waiting groin. Luckily for the horse, that ball had been surgically removed years ago.

First Horse Sighting!

Jake's dad never expected this equine wedding crasher to take advantage of the open bar. Disturbing as it was, he worked it like a champ.